#18 "Blessed are the cracked for they let in the light"

I read that quote in one of my Gran's books; it took me a while to work it out, and to be honest I'm still not completely certain I understand it.

I believe it could be that that the people that are considered damaged, are better people. They carry on regardless of their past, which they've accepted, and they let their experiences shape them into a stronger and better person. They learn that things happen that are out of your control, so you need to go with it. Just because one person hurts you, doesn't mean everyone else will. Just because something didn't turn out right, doesn't mean it won't in the future. They learn to accept everyone, because they know how it feels to be judged and defined by their past.

Everyone deserves to live their life in the way they want, 'damaged' or not. If people try and get in the way of that, let them try, but don't let them succeed. Some of the most inspiring people on earth are the most eccentric; Bob Dylan, Andy Warhol and Bjork to name just a few!

There's no revenge sweeter than success and a side order of happiness.

#17 The jigsaw puzzle

Every jigsaw piece has a different size, shape and image. Since when is difference only acceptable in jigsaw boxes?
If every piece was the same, no one would 'fit' anywhere. There would be no big picture.

There is a big picture and each DIFFERENT piece is included in it, whether you're a central piece or a corner. You're included, you have your own part and you're just as important as the pieces that attract more attention.

Puzzle pieces are set into a certain shape to fit into a certain place, it is meant to be in that certain place and no one can change that. Allow the puzzle piece to go where it's meant to go, if you don't, the big picture will just turn out wrong.

The jigsaw puzzle I'm referring to is life, and we are all the pieces of it. We each have our place no matter who ignores us or believes we are weird, or less important. Find what makes you different and champion it, it's what makes you, you. Let people see it; if they accept it, great! If not, they're the ones losing out.

#16 Fighting for the spotlight

Okay so, when I said 'trust me' in "Swag or class?", it means I've experienced it and I know how it feels. You get the guy that can get a lot of girls, and you feel proud, not only have you got the guy that you have feelings for, but you've got the guy that other girls want. He has so much opportunity and he chose you...yay.
That rush dies down you notice him still talking to those girls that you saw as your competition, still liking their photo's on Facebook and him telling you how girls he'd been with; you realise you had no idea about the majority of them and you start to wonder how good he is at hiding things. You worry. You doubt, And you over-react.

What I'm tyring to say id, don't put yourself into that situation. It will only end badly.
Go for the guy that is sweet, compliments you(but isn't a creeper) and does some of the classic gentlemanly things. I know it's cliche but come on girls...do you really want to be with someone that makes you feel insecure, instead of someone that would carry your shopping bags for you?

Go for the guy that you're eager to impress, but not the one that will keep you fighting for the spotlight.

#15 Swag or class

Writing "What makes a 'lad'?" caused me to realise that it's usually the 'lads' that get girlfriends...wait, what!?

But who's fault is that? *cough* girl's *cough*
Lads are said to have swag, that's when they walk like an ape. And men are said to have class; that's when they're polite. Why go for an ape?

Go for a guy that you know will treat you right. Go for one that is a kind person; one that isn't DISGUSTING enough to insult your friends to get laughs by making 'hilarious' jokes about their weight or appearance. If they do this, get rid. Simples. It's not right, it's not fair and he'll only do the same to you at some point down the line.

It may seem amazing and fun to go for the guy that gets all of the attention, but TRUST ME, it isn't.

#14 "Such a lad"

I hear people using this word daily, drives me mental if I'm honest. They usually refer to someone as a 'lad' after they say something either rude, offensive, or just plain irritating. The 'lads' may refer to this as banter, or a joke, but it's only a joke if the two parties(joker and jokee) are laughing, if it's only the joker laughing, you're making a joke out of someone, and if that's what makes you a lad, why would anyone want to be one? Boys seem to see it as an accomplishment or a word of praise, I'd much prefer to be able to call someone a gentleman!

Referring to boys as 'lads', devalues what Wikipedia says. If every "boy or young man" was like the lads at my school, there would be a major problem.

#13 Who needs a man, anyway?

So, your relationship ends, you follow it up with a few days of carbs, tears and the infamous 'break up playlist'...and now you want to risk repeating it all; you want your ex back, the person that just ended the relationship, caused you to eat your entire body weight in Ben & Jerry's and spend your savings on boxes of Kleenex. Then, when you realise how much of a wasteman he was, you're up for going out and finding someone else. You think to yourself, "I'm going to find the one, no problem, it'll happen. I'll walk into a cafe, our eyes will meet over the crowded room, Celine Deon will start playing through the speakers and we'll live happily ever after"...okay, hm, NO.

Why do you need a man? Take time out; be you, travel, find a hobby that you can be passionate about. A woman who knows what she wants and how to get it will either intimidate or inspire a man; you want one that feels inspired. Don't go out and look for the one, it won't happen! If you get into the mind set of 'I need a man, I need to find one', not only will you miss opportunities elsewhere, but you'll scare most possibilities away!

Women are pressured by society to be perfect. The perfect partner, daughter, friend...what about you and what you want? Focus on improving YOUR life rather than everyone else's, be a little selfish once in a while, otherwise you won't get anywhere! It's okay to live your own life, its okay to make your own mistakes. One day you'll have a family of your own, and that will be your priority, and rightly so. But until then, LIVE YOUR LIFE. Living by the rules and expectations of others is unfair, unrealistic and EXHAUSTING!

I'm not saying walk around firing death stares at everyone, or crap on everyone who's in a good mood when you're not, all I'm saying is do what makes you happy, just don't begin doing things which you know will hurt people. You'll be no good to anyone if you don't do you now, and then you're in a relationship, you have a family, and you're resentful. Get it out of your system now or you'll just feel stuck and unhappy later on. Until you do that, society will just have to suck it!

I can't stress enough how much you need to know who you are before you can be in a happy relationship. I think it should be enough to want someone; isn't it nice if your someone's choice rather than necessity? If you know who you are, you know who you want.

Stop searching and you will find!

#12 Fight or Flight?

There comes a time when caveman instincts are all that you have left. Do you fight for something that you want and risk wasting lots of time and effort, or do you take flight and risk the gain of a regret?

There are positives and negatives in both options:

Fight:
+ It may turn out to be worth your while
+ You can say that you tried your best, even if it doesn't go to plan
- You are risking feeling like a failure
- The effort may not be reciprocated (depending on the situation) leaving you hurt

Flight:
+You get out without getting hurt or disappointed
+You don't have something to add to a list of failures
-You may regret it in the long run
-You risk hurting or disappointing the other people involved

So, now it's all a case of what's more important for you to avoid; being hurt, or hurting others. Are some situations simply beyond justification, should you 'go with your gut'?

No one can decide that for you, you are the only one with the answer to the question in the title!